Wednesday, November 25th, 2009
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12:24 pm
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Was just writing a message to a mom of an Aspie Bam's age who told her he didn't think she loved her. As I was writing it, I realized that thinking about Bam a lot and nourishing my affection for him has made me a more patient mom. I don't yell or fly off the handle nearly as much as I used to; I've developed some really good strategies for coping with his issues. It reminds me of something I once read about good marriages, how couples who say and do nice things for each other are more likely to work out. (It sounded less obvious and more insightful than that, but whatever.) Maybe a good parent child relationship works somewhat the same way, though it's probably a lot more difficult being somewhat one-sided.
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
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10:52 am - I love it when that happens
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I was having this awesome dream about canoodling with Michael Cera (Shut up, he's only 23 years younger than me! Plus, I was a teenager in the dream) when the phone rang and woke me up. I was so pissed. And then I fell back asleep and right into the same dream.
current mood:  chipper
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, November 23rd, 2009
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10:18 am - babysitting my youngest goddaughter
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Sunday, November 22nd, 2009
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7:28 pm - another episode of "is it cute or is it creepy?"
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Me: "Do you think Calvin's parents love him?
Bam: "Well Calvin sometimes thinks they hate him, but I don't think that's probably true."
Me: "Why do you think that?"
Bam: "Because they never kill him."
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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10:47 am
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Bam: "I'm so glad that you're sad about my bruise because it shows you really care about me. A mean mom would've said 'Ha ha! Sucks you got a bruise!"
He came and woke me up this morning. Me! He never wakes me up! This getting up with him on Sundays is really helping our relationship. Though the movie watching isn't going that well... he sat through a few of the best Pixar shorts with me this morning, just humoring me I think. I have a few holiday craft ideas for next Sunday, maybe that will go over better.
It's becoming clear that he really has interpreted his dad doing so much of his daily care as me not loving him. The stuff I do for him is too behind the scenes or interpreted as annoying rather than caring.
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, November 19th, 2009
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2:47 pm
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Bam got a nasty bruise on his knee. I put on some of roshimomma's black 'n' blue salve and he sighed, "that's just what I wanted." I don't know if he meant the salve or the attention, but I love a successful mom job. :-)
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(comment on this)
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1:07 pm
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I had a weird thought today. I have a son - that means, unless he has children with a Jewish woman, chances are his children will not be Jewish. The Jewish buck stops with him. I suppose given the circumstances I shouldn't be wondering about his potential children and just consider we will be damn lucky if we get to be grandparents at all, but it's a bit sobering. Maybe I should work harder on installing a sense of Jewishness in him. But jeez, I can't even teach him table manners.
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
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8:23 pm
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Bam's disconnection from usual human feelings is really getting to me today. There are times when he just seems like a monster.
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(comment on this)
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Friday, November 13th, 2009
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11:06 am
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Bam continues to be obsessed with love. Last night he said, "You love me because I'm a nice little kid." I had no luck at all trying to convey that the reasons I love him have nothing to do with him being nice (or little, or a kid.) Difficult concept. On the one hand, I want him to know that he doesn't have to do or be anything in particular for me to love him, on the other hand saying that I love him just because he's my son makes it seem un-special.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, November 12th, 2009
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11:35 am - it's the most craptastic time of the year...
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... for a diabetic, that is. Not just Thanksgiving and Christmas, but all the birthdays crammed into a few months. I have got to find something to do at occasions besides eat. Wish I didn't hate crafts so much. Maybe crossword puzzles.
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(comment on this)
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Monday, November 9th, 2009
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8:58 pm
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Worn out. I am setting down now with the first episode of "True Blood" and nobody better mess with me any more tonight.
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(comment on this)
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Monday, November 2nd, 2009
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12:19 pm
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I'm in such a foul mood today. Possibly because there was an email from my father in my mbox. I wish I could get him to stop stalking me. I might be able to fix it so his emails disappear, but it's not really reliable.
current mood:  foul
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, October 29th, 2009
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10:52 pm - some awesome pumpkins
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10:21 am - oh man, can't you just see it?
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Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
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3:10 pm
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Just heard from my friend who has asthma and just got over pneumonia and has been desperately trying to get an H1N1 shot, that the county has run out already. I can't believe it... I actually pulled everything together and got something done *in time*. For once, anxiety paid off. I feel really bad for her and everyone else of course, but it's nice not to feel like an overreacting idiot for having pulled Bam out of school to do it. Especially since the school personnel hasn't gotten their shots yet.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, October 27th, 2009
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11:52 am
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Operation Stick Bam with a Needle finally a success. I'm worried, naturally... he hasn't had a shot since he had the seizures as a baby. But my heart was telling me to do this; I can tell because I went ahead and took him out of school and faced the horrible wait even though I was scared to death of all of that. :-\
It went fine, actually. I'm stunned by the parents who don't bring anything to entertain their kids; they just expect them to sit there and wait. I'm even more stunned that mostly, the kids do. I had a bag full of Bam-tertainment devices and I think we used every one. Plus snacks. But it was actually kind of nice to spend the time together. He took goofy pictures of us with his DSi and showed me all the cool tricks.
Now I just have to figure out when I'm supposed to bring him back for the second shot. :-\
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, October 26th, 2009
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11:44 am
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Got shot for myself but wasn't able to get Bam's, because of incredibly long wait. Now I'm wondering - shot or spray? I had wanted the shot for him but forgot about the thimerosol issue. Opinions? I believe he has to get it twice either way (I had thought the shot was only once, but I was wrong.)
current mood:  perplexed
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, October 25th, 2009
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8:21 pm
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I feel like a scene from "Apocalypse Now" except I am whispering, "the laundry. the laundry."
current mood:  exhausted
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
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11:38 pm
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My mom suggests that sometime next year we do a San Diego trip again (LOVE San Diego! and Bam was sick last time, so we didn't get to see a lot) and we can also go to Disneyland and she will keep Bam company when he's tired of it because she hates Disneyland anyway.
Best. Mom. Ever.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Monday, October 12th, 2009
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2:50 pm - Bam would certainly agree
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